


What Real Pain Feels Like

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Homicide, Blood Loss, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Daddy Kink, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Lightsaber Dildo, Lightsaber dildos challenge, Lightsabers, M/M, Painful Sex, Top!Han, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, bottom!Luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:02:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While in a bar one night, a bartender approaches Han Solo, bringing forth flashbacks of a regretful event that occurred many years ago- the reason why Han goes to the bar so often in the first place.</p><p>written for an e-prime challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Real Pain Feels Like

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dance4thedead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance4thedead/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [dance4thedead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance4thedead/pseuds/dance4thedead) in the [D4tD2B](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/D4tD2B) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Challenge prompt number two: Any fandom. Write a one shot written in E-prime (written without the use of the verb “to be” and any of its conjugations). Response may be written in a language other than English, but may not contain the verb “to be” written in ANY language at all. Minimum 1000 words.
> 
>  
> 
> can i put it in mine, too?
> 
> In response to a prompt by emobearthing in the starwars_fun_with_emobearthing collection.  
> Prompt:
> 
> everyone has looked at an object in their fandom- a prop in a music video, a costume accessory, a corpse- and thought to themselves, "dang, that'd make a kinky dildo." for this prompt, users must take any object from a fandom and write a work with at least one character from the dildo-object's fandom. if you're still confused, leave a comment on one of my works or something.

“Hey, pretty boy, do you come here often?”

Han Solo looked up at the bartender and sighed, painful memories flooding into his head.

* * *

 

 

_Han eagerly unbuttoned Luke Skywalker’s pants. “You said you wanted to do kinky stuff?” he asked._

_"Yeah,” Luke said. “Yeah, I would like to do lots of kinky stuff. I like the pain, Han. I like it a lot.”_

_"You like the pain, huh?”_

_Luke frowned. “Yeah, why not?”_

_"Have you ever actually felt pain, Luke? Don’t say you like something you don’t like just to make me happy. I’ll love you no matter what.”_

_"Well- well, once, I gave myself a paper cut while jerking off-“_

_"Yeah, because paper cuts just hurt so_ unbearably _badly, Luke. You little rebel.”_

_"I- I also- when Darth Vader- when my dad cut my hand off, I… uh…”_

_“*potato*, Luke, your dad- did that make you *potato*ing hard? Oh, gross!”_

_“No, no, not hard, but… but I peed my pants a little bit. Wet.”_

_Han laughed and pinned Luke to the floor._

_“Not Real Pain,” he grunted. “Do you really want to feel Real Pain, Luke Skywalker?”_

_“I- Real Pain? The knowledge of real pain resides not in my head, Han. Yes, I want this, ‘Real Pain.’”_

_“I’ll inflict Real Pain on you, then, Luke. Real Pain. Lots of it.”_

_"How much Real Pain?”_

_“So many,” Han replied. “So many Real Pains. You want that?”_

_"Yes, okay-“_

_Han slammed Luke’s head against the ground. “Tell me the name of your daddy, Luke Skywalker,” he said, his voice rough and sexy._

_"D- my- my daddy, uh- Darth Vader-“_

_Han rolled his eyes. “No, Luke, not that kind of daddy. Tell me the name of your daddy, as in, dominant sex partner who occasionally inflicts consensual pain upon you.”_

_"Still Darth Vader, I think-“_

_“Luke, *potato*ing *potato*. I’ll tell you the name of your daddy: Han *potato*ing Solo.”_

_“Oh, uh, okay. Okay, daddy. Han Solo, my father, you have my full consent to inflict pain upon me. Yep.”_

_“Yeah,” Han said with a smirk. “Tell me that again once we start, will you, Luke?” He flipped Luke over and stuck Luke’s lightsaber into Luke’s anal hole, with no lubricant or anything. Not a good idea, Luke thought._

_“Han?” Luke asked. “We need lubricant, right?”_

_“Not the way I do it,” Han said as he pushed the button on the side of the light saber. The blade shot out, impaling Luke Skywalker’s anus and coming out at his tummy._

_“*potato*,” Han Solo whispered. "That- I didn't think it would go all the way through a bone- *potato*-"_

_Blood poured out of Luke’s hole._

_"Bad!” Han screamed. “Very, very bad! Too kinky!”_

_“Help!” screamed Luke._

_“*potato*!” Han shouted. “Hang on, Luke, I- I’ll-“_

_“Pull out the *potato*ing lightsaber, Han!”_

_Han grabbed the lightsaber and pulled it out. “Luke,” he sobbed, “what have I done?”_

_All of a sudden, Darth Vader’s ghost appeared to them. “Make my son cum before his time runs out,” he bellowed, “and I will make him live.” He then disappeared._

_“*potato*, Luke!  We can make it!” screamed Han. He shoved his penis inside of Luke’s mangled hole and began thrusting in and out faster than ever before. “If you end up dead,” he muttered, “at least you died a happy death.”_

_“This… not… happy… death…”_

_Han thrusted harder, now pumping Luke’s penis along with thrusting. “Come on, kid, cum! Cum!”_

_Luke groaned. His blood would run out soon, Han knew, and the light saber surely had ruptured his organs. Oh, how stupid, Han thought. “Cum, Luke! You can do it!” Han shouted._

_"Can’t,” Luke breathed._

_Han increased his pace. He doubled it, and then, he tripled it. He thrusted quickly- but not quickly enough to save Luke._

_“Han,” Luke panted, “not… going… to… work…”_

_“Shut up!” Han said. “It’ll work, I promise! I promise, Luke, I promise!”_

_Luke shook his head, tears slowly running down his cheeks and making his face as wet as his butchered abdomen and anal hole. “I think I liked Real Pain, Han Solo,” he whispered to Han with a weak laugh._

_Han collapsed on top of Luke and started to sob heavily, so that his face grew wetter than a teenager listening to the bridge of Destroya by My Chemical Romance- in other words, very, very wet. “So sorry,” he whispered. “So sorry, so sorry, so sorry. I- I apologize, I- I apologize a million times, Luke-“_

_Luke smiled sadly and rested his hand on Han’s shoulder, giving it a weak squeeze. “No,” he said. “I love Real Pain, Han. Real Pain felt nice. Shame we won’t ever do it again.” “Luke, shut up, man, I- what about me? What if I don’t like real pain? I hate real pain, and you dying feels like some painful *potato*, I-“ Luke’s eyelids began drooping. “No,” Han whispered. “No, I can’t! I don’t like real pain! Real pain- it hurts, Luke, I- don’t go! Life hurts like a *potato* without you in it! Luke, don’t go, please- please-“ Luke’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he went still as all of the life left his body, leaving Han Solo crying on top of an empty, Luke Skywalker-shaped shell. “No!” Han shouted. “No, no! No! No, Luke, no! No! Please- please, Luke, no! No! Come back, Luke, come back! Please!” But Luke had died. Dead people can’t come back._

* * *

 

 

“Hello?” the bartender asked, waving his hand in Han’s face. “You still there, pretty boy?”

Han sighed and looked into his mug of whatever the *potato* he’d ordered. He’d forgotten the name of it by now, for he’d had too many drinks to remember.  Numerous strange substances clouded his thoughts, though none would ever dull the Real Pain of losing Luke. He would know- he’d tried every day for six years, in fact.

The man walked out from behind the bar and sat down next to Han, waving another bar tender over. “This guy needs another drink, I think,” he said with a laugh.

“No, thanks,” Han said, standing up.

“Hey, stay for a bit, kid. You still never answered me, you know.”

Han sighed and chewed his lip. “I, uh. Sorry,” he said.

“Come on, pretty boy, answer me. Yes or no. You come here often?”

Han wiped tears from his face with the back of his sleeve and sniffed.

“Yeah,” Han Solo said. “I come here often. Too *potato*ing often.”

**Author's Note:**

> fricking frick
> 
> i need help


End file.
